Picture Me: running beside a truck, snow all around....
Mood:  accident prone
Now Playing: live365.com
Topic: Adventures
...and you see what I didn't get to see today. Because I'm me, and I couldn't see me.

<> It's snowing a lot here, you see. And I just got a new job. I'm very excited about this new job and it's been snowing a lot here. I mean, not like 2 feet or anything...but close. I look outside and can't see the mountain nearby, nor the line of trees. Because there is solid snow/fog or something. Anyway, i get called in to work today. On one hand: great! Work! Money! Yay! On the other hand: snow? driving? ice? ugh!

<> So I drive there at about 3pm. The roads are pretty good. I do a massage, I give thanks that I work at a cool place and that I am actually getting work. All is good. The roads were fine. I gave thanks. I left at about 4:45 PM. Everything looked okay.

<> Here is the layout of our town. We live in Alto, 5 miles outside of Ruidoso. I work in Ruidoso. Alto is (as the spanish name suggests) higher than Ruidoso... only about 500 feet or so, but it affects the weather....and it makes the drive from Ruidoso to Alto somewhat of a climb. hmph.

<> Our truck. Is two wheel drive, and those two wheels are the REAR wheels, and for all of you LA, FL gals and guys, that means that the wheels that drive the truck have NO WEIGHT on them, which means that they will tailspin at the slightest nudge. Wheels that drive need weight on them to gain traction...like a car engine, that works well (as in Front Wheel Drive, yes?). So weeks ago, forseeing this, ron and I stole many rocks from a nearby riverbed to weigh down the back of the truck. We now have probably hundreds of pounds of rocks sitting in the bed on top of the back wheels. Still not the weight of an engine, but helpful.

 So I'm driving home from work (yay! work!) and it's getting dark, and i'm starting up the hill. And I start to go slower. And slower . And then I notice my wheels are spinning. Oh. Hm. I spin them some more. Maybe If I spin to a good place I'll get some traction. Spin, Spin.  Spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin.

Spin.

I'm not going anywhere. The guy in front of me is doing the same thing, but he is stopped and no longer trying. I call Ron, "i'm spinning on the hill"  He says, "well, put on your chains."

Duh! My chains. In inclement weather, you put chains on the tires that drive the car to get traction. No problem. I'll just put them on (I've never done it before) Cool. I grab the box from the backseat (brand new just a month before) and step out of the car--

On to a sheet of ice.
Yes, the road, formally pavement and rock, is now  literally a sheet of ice. I can barely walk on it, how could I possibly put on chains? But my choices are limited here and so I close the car door and hang for dear life onto the car anywhere I can while I inch to the back to figure out this chain thing.

And I start to get the chains out to put behind the wheels (to later back over them, and then tie them around the wheels with bungee cords. works quite well actually). After trying to untangle the chains and kneeling beside the wheel, I notice the car is moving. THE CAR IS MOVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I get up and see the car sliding backwards. Luckily the flashers are on, so is the emergency brake, but it's doing no good, apparently. I run to the driver door, open it, about to get in, then --- the car may be heading for destruction...perhaps through the guard rail and over the edge, or into an oncoming car. Better not get in. Rather take my chances running around on a sheet of ice with cars driving around.

Like any sane person would do, I ran beside the car, waving my arms and crying wildly "There's no one in there!!!' though surely no one could hear me because in weather like this, your windows are closed. So. I'm imagining at the very least the car will smash into the guard rail and get some (more) nasty dents. Luckily it runs into the snow bank where it finds some traction (snow has more traction than ice. can you tell my audience is floridians?) and nestles gently just a few feet before the guard rail.

PHEW! Since we are going up a hill, this is a mountain, and the car could have gone off it. If it was going more than 2 miles an hour. Phew. There is a van that pulled off on the other side, apparently concerned for me. While I had been screaming and waving my arms I had looked them and said "There's NO ONE IN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" with great concern. The guy had looked at me with complete seriousness and said, "I can see that." At the time I thought it was entirely funny, but had no time to laugh.

Now I look at them and say, "I need to put on some chains, I've never done it before. Can you help me?" They had stopped for me. I didn't think it was too big a request. They looked at each other (both looked like stoner 20something guys, driving a beat up van, a la my dad) and as they were about to speak to me, I noticed chains on their back tires. SURELY! these guys would be able to help. The driver responded, "Neither have any of us."

WTF?!?! A lie, or the truth, no matter, I have no more time for these fools. I said something final, and took off to the chains I had left on the road, where my truck had previously been sitting before it took off sliding backwards. Cars were running over them, thankfully missing them.

I grabbed the chains, which I had took out of the box and were freezing cold (and I had no mittens on,) and carried them back to my truck and at this point the police had shown up. Thank lord baby jesus.  I now got the thorough scolding AND someone to put my chains on. The rest of the story being rather unremarkable. The cops put the chains on, treating me like some really stupid, really retarded WOMAN who didn't know that driving on sheets of ice is not possible and that I should have put them on miles ago. Thank you.

And I got home safely, into my loving sweeties arms. Yum.